A Mess Is Just An Opportunity To Clean

Oh hey! Remember me? The girl who said she'd try (keyword *try*) to regularly blog throughout the year? The one who you didn't believe anyway because you're pretty sure she has said that in almost every post?

Well I'm still here... and I'm taking it easy.

So Bella, you've got some explaining to do. It's been over nine whopping months since you've decided to grace us with your presence. Where have you been?

I've been adulting! I started my first full-time job in fashion and it practically stole all of my free time. As if I didn't enjoy lazing around before, when you work a corporate 8-5, you really start to value the essence of nothing. And nothing was what I did.

Until now. What changed? Surprise! Everything. Again.

I'll save you the trouble. TL;DR: I moved out with my other half (his name is Billy) and I'm redefining my goals.

What's that? You want the juicy deets? Well if you insist...

Here's a shot of our kitchen/dining area, the only fully furnished room in our apartment. Because food comes first, always. Go ahead, eye-roll my "yet another typical Eames chairs" selection. I'm fully aware of its overused and basic reputation, but I love it anyway! So take that! #FakeItTilYouMakeItConfidence

After two painstakingly long weekends of moving in, Billy accidentally spilled something on our kitchen counter. Calmly but in a halfheartedly sarcastic tone, he said "a mess is just an opportunity to clean" and shrugged. 

That's it. I know, very anticlimactic.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but after this past week, it's worth mentioning again. Perspective is everything and one of the hardest things to do is to steer your perspective away from what you are comfortable with to the unknown. Bless Billy and his positive outlook on life. I think he reverse-aged me at least 30 years and wiped out most of my old person cynicism. As if you didn't already know, I like to think I'm an 80 year old in a young body.

So if you're wondering why I suddenly popped up to talk, let's just say I have some free time now. I was unexcited about my job and an opportunity to move led to leaving on good terms. That's serendipity at its finest folks.

Another basic shot of Mr. Holmes Bake Shop in SF. You know what's not basic though? How good their pastries actually are. Don't let the hype deter you away from the fluffy deliciousness that is their croissants. Another quote from Billy? "What is hype may never die" - inspired by, you guessed it, GoT.

A lot of what opened my eyes was my trip back home to the Bay Area and getting in touch with the city that inspired me most: San Francisco. Knowing that I wouldn't be moving back any time soon, I thought about what drew me to the fashion and tech industry in the first place and how I could find it back in SoCal. San Francisco is the mecca of start-ups, but at the core of those start-ups is the idea of disrupting an outdated industry and improving it for our present and future. I love the innovative mindset that start-ups offer, so why couldn't I apply that to my own trajectory?

As I was gearing to move forward, I almost took on another position that wasn't the right fit. Instead of wasting another year for a resume booster, I did the right thing in my mind and turned it down. It may seem like an irresponsible decision seeing as I just moved into a much more expensive apartment, but the millennial in me refuses to settle for a job just for the sake of income security. 

So I've been thinking long and hard about a particular question: where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?

It was time I was honest with myself and accepted that I might've cornered myself into a path I'm not fully invested in. I made a mess of where I was, but I guess it's an opportunity to reevaluate my interests and clean things up *winkwink*. To carve a career path, not just a job, that I'm excited about. Because in five years I still want to be there. And I want to be kicking ass.

So to all you newly grads or maybe those one year out like me, you don't have to be quick to set things in stone. Take some time to learn about yourself, make a mess, and clean it up. You may find yourself crying almost every night frustrated with no direction, weeping into empty bags of hot cheetos and seeking comfort in boxes of chicken nuggets, but you'll get there. And you'll be happy.

... But also save money, because that's important for the self-discovery process too. You know, you still gotta pay the bills and you can't get inspired on an empty stomach!

Side note: I know photos have not been the best lately since my DSLR is extremely old and outdated, so you'll have to enjoy my random iPhone photos in the meantime. I tried my very best to make them seem somewhat relevant. Also I just wanted to show off my dining area because I love it so much. #TheTruthComesOut